Saturday, October 01, 2005

Oor Wallace

During my ongoing struggles with the PC to make it talk to various bits of equipment, I'm still having trouble signing in to write my blog. During this hiatus I've been rehearsing a play called 'Oor Wallace' and this finished last night. Whilst it certainly didn't go as badly as I feared, there were still several problems. Mostly due to our recasting at the last minute, but there were also several incidences of severe self-indugence from the members of Clann Alba who were drafted in to do a wee bit of bodhran playing.
After blackmailing the director into letting them tack on some more playing and the chance to -badly- perform a speech about Wallace at the end of the play, last night the playing got ridiculously long, especially at the end. I almost walked off because I thought they were never going to bloody well stop. At the point in the play where they were on, suddenly there were new lines that were never included and, again, seriously-extended bodhran playing. This last left me standing on stage like a total frigging lemon waiting to sing my song. At one point he built up to a resounding crescendo and I drew breath to begin the song and the bastard just kept right on going. By this time he wasn't even in the room!
Rank amateurism at its worst. When they turned up dressed in braveheart-style costumes topped off with cotton/lycra vests I was embarrassed to be seen on stage with them. Their performances convinced me of just how poor most of the 'societies' which have sprung up in the wake of Braveheart are. Oh, and one of them was the guy we had to re-cast at the last minute 'cos he couldn't learn lines.
As usual, Scotland's directors, producers and agents showed their usual enthusiasm for trying to discover new talent by failing to show up to take their free seats. I know they're busy and they can't get to everything, but maybe if they stopped only going to the main houses where the actors are generally represented and doing quite well we'd lose some of the cliqueishness which afflicts Scottish theatre & television.
Just a thought.

The Joys of Political Correctness

Calderdale Royal Hospital in Halifax, Yorkshire has banned 'Cooing over babies' in their maternity wards. Why? Because they're worried this might breach the babies' human rights! Varies reports cite the existence of either posters or displays featuring a doll with a sign saying "What makes you think I want to be stared at?"

Words fail me.

(After being surprised by the reaction this has caused the hospitals' PR department released a belated announcement indicating that this was also being done in an effort to prevent the spread of infections to the newborns.)