Abby & I bumped into an old lady today. It seemed that she had been dropped off at the bus station by a health-centre care-worker who was apparently too busy to actually take her home. Tilly is frail, fragile and having eye difficulties that make it difficult for her to see the edges of the pavement. She’s also clearly in a somewhat bewildered mental and emotional state having lost her husband less than a year ago and been moved from her home into sheltered accommodation whilst she was grieving.
We helped her find her way to shop to buy milk & bread and then walked her most of the way home; she refused to let us take her all the way. I cannot help but think that even as she thanked us profusely for our help that she was still somewhat afraid to let us see where she lived, just in case.
What a sad reflection on our society this is. Tilly is lonely, scared and facing a slow decline into ill-health and dependency on people who would walk away and leave her at a bus stop to save themselves five minutes. It was so obvious to us that she has neither gotten over her man’s death (He was found dead in the street – how must that have added to her pain?) nor been given any real grief counselling since. With no family left other than a niece who is there to help her? To my great shame I did not offer to look in on her or to do anything more to help than I already had. I will keep my eyes open for her and make an effort to see she’s alright if I can. I know that Abby will do the same but not too long ago this would never have happened, especially in a place like Govan.
It may never have been an affluent area, but there was a strong community here. Now, even here, there has been such a strong swing towards having an insular society that a woman like Mrs Brown can find herself like this. I hope that she’s a member of a local church. She was married in the area. Not because I’m religious or have any naïve faith that God will somehow save her but simply because the religious communities seem to be the last bastions of a true caring society.
The friends I have who are church members all have an interest in each others’ lives. Not in a nosey way. Well, not overtly, anyway. But they spend time together and plan ways to help those of their church that are in need of help. There’s a real community spirit. I think soap operas fill that void in our lives now. The things that soap operas seem to have replaced in our lives are all there in them. Even the likes of Desperate Housewives show neighbours dropping in on one another, rallying round to help and so on. There’s gossip to share, which, however reprehensible that might be at times, is another facet of communal life. We no longer know our neighbours or what’s happening to them so we indulge in the lives of fictional characters – many cannot separate the actor from the character - and ignore real people around us like Tilly.
We really are pathetic.
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